Thursday

Dostoevskyism

“Perhaps I really regard myself as an intelligent man only because throughout my entire life I've never been able to start or finish anything.” 

3:30 a.m on a Thursday  organic chem 2 midterm at 8:00 a.m I stayed up in the hopes of getting some studying done... In the hopes of... 

Yet again I didn't do anything except read and read until the dull head ache became numbness and my eyes went from pink to bloodshot red while a myriad of practice problems were left untouched. 

The last couple of weeks I've been disregarding social contact, school work & any other emotional contacts in favour of more and more work hours. 

I don't know why but selling has always been my thing, when I was fourteen a guy I knew told me that in life we're all salesmen, whether it is material objects or in the realm of ideas. The only qualitative trait that renders us apart from the universal mould that we so despise is our ability to sell better than the next person. 
  
I am the master of unfinished works (notice the evasive conclusion of the previous topic). This because labelling any of your works as complete leaves them completely vulnerable to criticism or even worse a successful reception leaves a precedent of quality that the audience will forever ask you to maintain and repeat. 

Jean-Paul Sartre spent his whole life telling people that their words should be followed by concrete action for the sake of humanity. He spent the majority of his life defending the communist cause just to wake up one day and realise that he had been wrong all along. The absurdity arises here as you can't make any mistakes if you define yourself by your actions and not by simple words.

I chose a hedonistic individualism as opposed  to existentialism not as much because of the aforementioned reasons as because I'm a lazy fuck who wouldn't want to help starving African babies even if presented the opportunity to do so.

You should seriously consider this.

That way you can go all through life without doing anything worth remembering or even slightly helpful and just read some good books on a beach in Rio.